Quick before i go to bed.

5 reasons I'm glad I'm alive.

1. I currently have Nigel snuggled on my arms and the table as I type. Nigel, the 21 pound muscular not fat pony of a cat. But he's so soft and so sweet.
2. I am thinking of signing up for a new challenge.
3. I made dinner for my mom tonight. she was so happy and touched, it felt really nive to do that for her.
4. Has anyone watched Modern Family? It's such a sweet funny show.
5. I did nothing much today. I'm ready to go back to school, I think.

3_ships fics are up with a veritable slew of Leverage fics, so I am calling it quits on trying to put together a list of all the yuletide fics I liked.

Everything I clicked on this year I loved! Recs in Bridge to Terabithia, Bridgerton series (Julia Quinn), Dirty Dancing, Dollhouse, Ghostwriter, The Handmaid's Tale, Horatio Hornblower (TV), How I Met Your Mother, Leverage, Like Water for Chocolate, Oregon Trail (game), The Royal Tenenbaums, The Simpsons, and Wallace and Gromit: ( In alphabetical order ... )

Also! The Pretty Lights fics are up. (For those of you not familiar with Pretty Lights, it was started back when yuletide didn't allow RPF.)

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I'm all out of sorts tonight. Nothing is holding my interest and I'm eating simply because I'm bored. Oh, yeah, and that's not couting the red flush on my cheeks and my mom bitching because I lost her snow boots while cleaning out the food in the bottom of her closet.

Lord, it's frustrating. I'm frustrating. The only good thing is that because I'm so edgy, I'm working on my finances since numbers and plans settle me. It's not quite working but, again, it's something. I think if I can hold steady for the next twenty months (!) then my car will paid off. Then I can start socking the majority of my money to my credit cards. I owe about $10,700 right now on 5 different cards. The lowest amount I owe is $100 on my Wal-Mart card which I think I'm going to pay off this month. It's the first month on it so this way it'll be out of the way. The other four have higher balances: $1800 to $3600.

I'm still saving $30 a month with the purpose of not getting my savings under $3,000 and it gives me a little cushion in case I can't make a payment. It probably makes more sense to take the $3,000 and pay on the cards but I don't feel comfortable with having nothing.

I've also added a couple little items onto my budget - I upped my cash flow back to $100. Why did I think it was wise to live on $80 and then spend the last couple days using my cards? And I'm now keeping $20 in my checking account to spend on something frivolous - which is also helping me not use my credit cards. Of course, I realize that's $40 that I could be putting on my cards. In the long run, I think it's going to help me save money by spending a little.

And it's starting to snow. We're supposed to end up with 5 inches tonight - but as long as it's only snow, then we'll be okay. No ice, please.

The one nice thing about cleaning something for the last six days is that it's compelling me to continue: since I got home I dumped the plastic container of all the old boxes that Mom likes to save (I found one that she wrote the date of purchase on and it was 1997!), unloaded the dishwasher, wiped down the three shelves where we keep different medicines and discarded the expired. So... yay?

I'm trying to back up my computer - already tonight I've gotten two hard disk errors from Windows. I know, I still have to take care of that.

For some reason, Carrie has begun texting me again. It's nothing new, just the same old stuff.

A couple more mailing lists down. I can feel my stress levels magically dropping. . . Or not.

Like I mentioned in part 1, I got a little excited about this year's MTYG. And so, making the most of some unexpected down time, I ended up writing three stories. Of course two out of three cover the same pairing, and so I hope I also managed to write three decidedly different stories, hee. But, what's most surprising (especially to those who are familiar with my particular brand of crazy), I actually genuinely love all the stories I wrote this year:

- Oranges on Apple Trees for raynedanser (Chris/JC)

Juncture for pensnest (Chris/Lance)

Sparkly souls slow dancing for poetrychik (Chris/Lance)

( Please excuse me while I ramble about (the writing of) my stories for a bit: )

Anyway, the actual point of this post is that I want to thank all recipients for leaving me such lovely feedback, and for allowing me to write these stories - sad but true, I wasn't kidding when I said writing these was pretty much the best thing about 2009! I had lots of fun, and was truly amazed by the wonderful response from both my recipients and other readers. This year's MTYG was just the most enjoyable fic exchange experience I've had so far and I want to thank all the mods for making it possible and all writers and readers (and again the mods) for being awesome and (therefor) making this fandom so incredibly AWESOME!

The santas are revealed, and it turns out the wonderful luxshine wrote the gorgeous Chris/Kevin AU The Defense Rests. It's one of those rare pairings that (sadly) hardly ever get written, but, believe me, in the right hands (*points at the Defense Rests*), it is a thing of absolutely beauty. Thanks so much for writing me this fic, luxshine!

And now that santas are revealed I can finally apologize to those of you who didn't get a chance to grab a pinch hit because of me and my grabby little hands - does it help if I tell you that writing these stories was most likely the highlight of 2009 for me? Or does that just make me sound incredibly pathetic? Heh. Either way, thanks so much for letting me have loads of fun with this (and for inspiring me to write again - because for a while there I felt I was on an indefinite hiatus of my own!).

Actually, it's the first time in 3 years I had some serious time on my hands pre-MTYG and while I made the most of that (and had the aforementioned FUN!) I do regret not having just as much time after the stories went live. I'd hoped to be able to read a whole lot more than I actually did. I still have a list of stories I desperately wanted to read - but as a friend just pointed out: there are no rules against reading post reveal so I guess I know what I'll (hopefully!) be doing this weekend, hee.

Last night when I went to bed, I just knew that I'd wake up in a bad mood. It's just natural for me - yesterday was a good day: I was happy and somewhat positive about my upcoming year and cleaning and how I want to do something good and clean and free this year. And I was right.

I woke up mad. And I'm still mad - Mom's here and annoying me, this is my quiet time before work (work where I have both Jackie and Marilyn [although not until noon for the latter]) and there's nothing quiet about my mom. But I'm not going to focus on that.

Today I have knocked down the cobwebs over my desk and down to the corner I cleaned today, wiped down the wall behind the knick knack shelf, wiped down the clock, vacuumed the floor beneath the shelf, and dusted the shelf and the knick knacks. Before that I unsubscribed from some of those emails lists that I've managed to get subscribed to and never check out: Sears, Lands End, Linen Source, and one of the Bath and Body Works (I forgot one time last summer whether my earthlink account email was .net or .com so I've been getting emails for both). There are numerous others that I get emails from that I'll unsubscribe from eventually (when they send me an email): Casual Living, LL Bean, Smith and Wesson, Jillian Michaels, etc.

So. Today I am going to be positive enough to forgive myself for being bitter today.

Actually, I really don't have any. Scratch that. My goal this year is to pay for school without taking loans. I'll need to follow a pretty strict budget but I can do it. If I can, I can earn my master's only 16k in debt.

5 reasons I'm glad I'm alive (2010 edition!)

1. Watching Rafa and mom's cats play. Rafa's still smaller than them, but he makes up for it with sheer determination.
2. I am ready to go home to Las Cruces. But my mom really likes having me here so I'm putting it off.
3. I've written about 6k words in the last week. Not bad.
4. Heard back from my professor with edits. *sighs* And so it begins. Again.
5. I have to say, hanging out with mom is awesome. We watch Jeopardy every day and I'm really, really going to miss that. It's just no fun if you don't have someone else to play with.

This is the year that I vow to be more positive, clean a bit more, eliminate some of the unnecessary clutter from my life, finish a darn story instead of moving on, and.... Well, there was something else but I've already forgotten it.

One day at a time, people. One day at a time.

Random
hose
dvds
pajamas
shoes
laptop sleeve
computer chair
purse holder
computer
desk

Whatever you do, don't give up. Because all you can do once you've given up is bitch.
I've known some great bitchers in my time. With some it's a passion, with others an art.
Molly Ivins, 1944 - 2007

It is my observation that too many of us are spending money we haven't earned, to buy things we don't need, to impress people we don't like.

Jokes 'N' Stuff didn't put a name on that quote - Google said it's either Will Rogers or Will Smith. I'll just leave it at that.

A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents,
works his tail off to develop them into skills,
and uses these skills to accomplish his goals.
Larry Bird

Today's cleaning was part of a wall, wiping down the air conditioner, cleaning the filter, and dusting off the top of the cabinet under the air conditioner. I tried to convince Mom to move the cabinet since it's completely empty but hard to get to. I don't know why we store junk out in the open when there is a perfectly good cabinet right in the living room - it's simply because it's inconvenient to get to. Mom doesn't want to move it which annoys the hell out of me. Why have it if you're not going to use it?

And, yes, I'm probably going to annoy everyone by talking about my cleaning. It's something to record, after all, and something productive. Which is nice since most of my day wasn't productive at all. I used my Wal-Mart gift cards from Justin to buy advil, panel nails, a storage tray, a three drawer organizer, a hammer, key tags, and a candy bar. What a combo!

E.T.A. - I forgot the rest of the non-productiveness: chatting with a freak on Yahoo! who is trying to discover my sexual fantasies. We'd just reached the cyber sex (on his end) portion of the chat when my mom came home from work. That's about it. I read some of Nora Robert's Black Rose and ate in my car and tossed in a load of towels.

My plan for the key tags didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. I bought the organizer to put all the random cords that came with my ipods (three), digital camera, and ebook reader, etc. I planned to put the key tags around the wires to be able to tell them apart although I knew they'd be too big. I didn't realize that they'd be so strong/I'm so weak that I couldn't get them tighter. I found a pair of pliers from that stupid tool box that the hammer broke by pulling nails from the wall and ended up *breaking* them simply by squeezing the wire together.

It's done but it's not very attractive.

I signed up for a Dark Angel ficathon and then managed to somehow think it was due 8 days after it was actually due. How, I do not know, I had a post-it note with the accurate deadline, I had already started the story before my Yuletide story even (which I finished on time). But sigh. I screwed up, but I liked my little idea and I like the person I was supposed to be writing for.

musesfool: This is for you, sorry it is late and sorry I didn't get it done by the deadline. I hope it is somewhat close to your idea of them falling in love while they run Terminal City day to day.

Title: In The Silence
Rating: PG 13
TV Show/Pairing: Dark Angel, Max/Alec
Summary: In the silence of the high place Alec and Max find comfort.
Beta: embroiderama Thank you SO MUCH!

( In The Silence )

Sometimes I get bored. And when I do ( I find myself thinking of Jensen's inner most dreams and desires )